im not going to be sweet. or nice. or gracious. im not trying to sound like a victim of a system. systems are there for a reason.

im mediocre. im not valedictorian but im not a total bum. i cant ride a bike. i cant park a car properly. im not very good looking to most standards.

i dont know for sure because if i ask they’ll lie to make me feel better. but what do people find enticing? im so curious to know. i need a pie chart of percentages of men like what.

i have short, uneven hair. i shave my head every few months. not because i want to. but because i dont want to look like i got in a fight with a hairdresser. i really do wish i could have long pretty hair like all those pictures on tumblr. I have short eyelashes and a big nose and a fat face. fat legs. small breasts. long toes. small ears. acne everywhere. scars from mosquito bites. im mean. i used to be so nice and innocent and find the best in everyone. but now i dont even want to talk to my friends. i dont want to talk to anyone. i dont hate people. well i do. but not all people. i just fear. fear of judgement. fear of everything really.